Suicide
Yesterday and today, my thoughts have been on the suicide of a young man. Scott Johnson, who is an old neighbor from our West Jordan home of course is the one who brought on these thoughts. This didn't help out with my wifes depression, and has affected her deeply. Of course, there is also the concern of our own children and trying to make sure they know how to deal with stressful issues without doing this terrible thing. It is so unfair to all people.
What we have heard about this case is that he hung himself in his closet. It is sounding like a part of the reason is a recent breakup with his girlfriend just prior to a prom. I don't think this is the only reason that he has done this, but it could be a part of it. I hope that the girl will feel no guilt because of this. There are enough tears to go around already. There are a ton of questions.
I do understand having terrible feelings. I have had them before in my life. I just wish people would find out that there are ways to stop this type of thing. There is help out there. Though there is a lot of pain at times, one needs to somehow try to rise above that pain. It is a very selfish act, and when you get there, I don't really think they think about the pain that this is going to cause others to have. I wonder if you could imagine the pain that others will have after you have done such a terrible thing, if you would rethink it.
After my wife and I went to the viewing tonight, we went to myspace.com to see what was there. It took a little while to find his page, and then all that was there was a survey that you can take with a link for others to take the same survey. It was mostly a normal thing. One of the questions on there was the way you would like to die. His answer? A violent and painful death. The the question of what he wanted to be when he grew up, "I don't want to grow up". These two questions were right together. I don't know if that is the way he was feeling, but it is what he put. It said that he was last logged in on the 20th. The date of his death was the 22nd. I guess he accomplished both of those.
I feel for his dad who when the family couldn't find him went downstairs finally and found him. How horrible that must be. How horrible for the whole family to wonder what all led him to this decision. How horrible for extended family and friends who wonder what they could've done to keep this from happening. We got to the viewing about 10 minutes after it opened up. We were in line for about 45 minutes to an hour. There were some who stayed up front for a long time, but it did show that he had plenty of friends (some seemed a bit quirky and strange to me). I noticed mom and dad standing there by their son. They seemed to be doing well with no tears. I got up there and told Debbi how sorry I was as I hugged her and she just started to sob on my shoulder. I don't know what to say. I look at Kevin and he is breaking up too as we shake hands. There isn't anything to say. I let them know that we love them. We leave.
I can't quite get over the image I saw in the casket. I could see a flap of skin at his neck where it has been stretched. I don't notice anything else about him. My wife notices blue lips and doesn't notice anything else other than that. Interesting the different things we focus on. I don't even like to look on dead bodies in the first place, but when I do, I see the morbid. I hope he didn't have too much pain (despite what he said he wanted). My wife and I wonder if the thought goes through his head as he is finishing this act, "How stupid is this". So final. I do hope he finds peace. I pray that his family finds peace.
What we have heard about this case is that he hung himself in his closet. It is sounding like a part of the reason is a recent breakup with his girlfriend just prior to a prom. I don't think this is the only reason that he has done this, but it could be a part of it. I hope that the girl will feel no guilt because of this. There are enough tears to go around already. There are a ton of questions.
I do understand having terrible feelings. I have had them before in my life. I just wish people would find out that there are ways to stop this type of thing. There is help out there. Though there is a lot of pain at times, one needs to somehow try to rise above that pain. It is a very selfish act, and when you get there, I don't really think they think about the pain that this is going to cause others to have. I wonder if you could imagine the pain that others will have after you have done such a terrible thing, if you would rethink it.
After my wife and I went to the viewing tonight, we went to myspace.com to see what was there. It took a little while to find his page, and then all that was there was a survey that you can take with a link for others to take the same survey. It was mostly a normal thing. One of the questions on there was the way you would like to die. His answer? A violent and painful death. The the question of what he wanted to be when he grew up, "I don't want to grow up". These two questions were right together. I don't know if that is the way he was feeling, but it is what he put. It said that he was last logged in on the 20th. The date of his death was the 22nd. I guess he accomplished both of those.
I feel for his dad who when the family couldn't find him went downstairs finally and found him. How horrible that must be. How horrible for the whole family to wonder what all led him to this decision. How horrible for extended family and friends who wonder what they could've done to keep this from happening. We got to the viewing about 10 minutes after it opened up. We were in line for about 45 minutes to an hour. There were some who stayed up front for a long time, but it did show that he had plenty of friends (some seemed a bit quirky and strange to me). I noticed mom and dad standing there by their son. They seemed to be doing well with no tears. I got up there and told Debbi how sorry I was as I hugged her and she just started to sob on my shoulder. I don't know what to say. I look at Kevin and he is breaking up too as we shake hands. There isn't anything to say. I let them know that we love them. We leave.
I can't quite get over the image I saw in the casket. I could see a flap of skin at his neck where it has been stretched. I don't notice anything else about him. My wife notices blue lips and doesn't notice anything else other than that. Interesting the different things we focus on. I don't even like to look on dead bodies in the first place, but when I do, I see the morbid. I hope he didn't have too much pain (despite what he said he wanted). My wife and I wonder if the thought goes through his head as he is finishing this act, "How stupid is this". So final. I do hope he finds peace. I pray that his family finds peace.
posted by Craig's Blog at 11:05 PM
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